I wanted to take a different approach this Friday to a topic that is near to my heart. Since my husband and I dated a long time, as well as the fact that we are in our late 20s, the overwhelming assumption seems to be that kids should be in the very near future for us because there is no reason to wait now that we are married. However, I feel quite differently. While I love the idea of being pregnant and becoming a mother, the reality is I do not believe I am ready. I know you will probably say...you will be ready when it happens, no one ever has kids when they are ready. When I say that I am not ready, I do not believe I am prepared financially, emotionally, spiritually, physically or in any other way to be responsible for another person. I am not saying that to say that I don't have my financial house in order or that I don't want to gain 25+ pounds carrying a little bambino. I am saying this because the goals that I have set for myself that I would like to achieve before having kids has not fully occurred as of yet.
I want to be able to enjoy my pregnancy knowing that when the 10 months have passed, I am ready to provide my child or children (twins also run in the family I should note) with the best possible chance at having a life that they can enjoy. I want to be able to travel the world with my children. I want to be able to put them through private school if I feel the public school system is not adequate to prepare them for being on their own. I want to be able to make sure that my marriage is just as strong as it is today and that my husband & I both understand the time sacrifices that will be necessary for us to raise a child together. There are so many things that have to fall in place in my eyes before I can say without a shadow of a doubt that I am ready to at least start trying.
Only time will tell...but I can tell you while I am excited to start the journey of becoming a parent...I will enjoy it that much more when the time is right. I have always been of the idea that becoming a parent is the most selfless act that you will do in your life...so why wouldn't I wait? Having a child to me means sacrifice and selflessness!
Are any of you in a marriage where you face the pressure to have a child when you or your spouse are not ready yet?
Just wanted to share the feelings are my heart! Although it is brief, this is how I feel! So, in two to three years time...the hope is that we will start trying!
I leave with this...
"Children shouldn't have to sacrifice so that you can have the life you want. You make sacrifices so your children can have the life that they deserve."